Post by BonzaiRob on Apr 1, 2007 16:03:43 GMT
It's time for another tutorial! Let's get down to it.
Step 1: Smell Nice
Vision and hearing may be our main senses, but smell is wired directly to our brains in a way that the other senses aren't. Might seem like a no-brainer, but rule one is wash regularly. After that, you should wear deodorant. No-one likes how sweat smells!
Step 2: Be Nice
No-one likes an asshole, either. Don't be arrogant, and don't be nasty or cruel. A good rule is to think about what you say and do before you say or do it. If you're into violent videogames, don't go talking about how cool the gory headshots look, whether you think that or not. Instead, say the graphics are cool, or something like that.
Likewise, don't pick your nose or fart in front of them. Sure, noses run and you get gas, they're totally natural, but try not to laugh and act like you just cracked a really good joke (for farting) and use a tissue (for your nose). If you burp, cover it with your hand, do it quiet as possible.
Step 3: Stay Cool
Don't be creepy
Sure, you might have a crush on this person, but that's no excuse for following them around or staring at them. Those work against you.
When you see the person you're crushing on, smile at them, say hi. If they don't want to talk to you, don't make them. If they look busy, smile and maybe wave, don't engage them; that would be annoying, right? Right.
Step 4: Be Brave
You see the person you're crushing on standing alone somewhere. Your heart lurches. Should you go talk to them?
Yes! It might be nerve-wracking, but it's worth it. Just go over and say hi. Try starting a conversation, but if they're not interested, leave it alone. When their friends turn up, don't follow them, or act offended, just smile and say bye, and let them go. If your friends turn up, and they're in a hurry, say you'll catch up with them and let them go. It's a delicate balance here between not letting the crush be too lonely, and not sticking to them like glue.
HOWEVER: You can take bravery too far. Don't totally go out of your way to stay with the crush, or do things for them. That comes off a little bit creepy. For instance, if you're in a shop together and the crush hasn't got enough money to get something he/she wants, offer to help pay for it. Don't refuse being paid back though. On the other hand, don't buy them things out of the blue. Again, creepy.
Step 5: Be Funny
You don't necessarily have to be a stand-up comedian, but don't be boring either. IF you think of something funny (but not gross) don't be afraid to say it out loud. A little bit gross is ok, if the crush is friendly towards you.
The most important thing is: don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. It's a quote or proverb or something that a person who laughs at themself won't be laughed at by other people. That's not strictly true, but people laugh at you less, or at least laugh with you.
If you trip, or make a mistake, turn it into a joke. Don't act like you meant to do it, that comes off as arrogant. Say something like "I don't like hitting the floor. It's never done anything to me." If you can't think of anything appropriate, just laugh!
You see, stubbornness is a turn-off. If you're stubborn, it means a) you can't adapt to new situations and b) you have a large ego, neither of which is cool. However, don't let people take advantage of your not-stubbornness either. Just try to balance it. Find the line you don't want to cross.
Step 6: Self-Confidence
This is probably the hardest step. A good thing to remember (unless you're crushing on one of those popular kids who's had a million girlfriends/boyfriends) is that they're probably just as nervous as you are about this sort of thing. So don't make a big deal, and try not to be awkward. Just relax, and (CLICHÉ ALERT) be yourself.
Think about what you're good at. Drawing? Music? History? Even just imagining things, or video games. Think about that and hold on to it, because your crush, beautiful and amazing as they may be, is still just a human being like you.
So, no doubt you realised this but anyway:
April Fools!
That's right, this tutorial is a joke. But the contents of it aren't This is all what I've learned from my own experiences, and I currently have a girlfriend, and it's our anniversary on Friday. I hope this helps someone
Step 1: Smell Nice
Vision and hearing may be our main senses, but smell is wired directly to our brains in a way that the other senses aren't. Might seem like a no-brainer, but rule one is wash regularly. After that, you should wear deodorant. No-one likes how sweat smells!
Step 2: Be Nice
No-one likes an asshole, either. Don't be arrogant, and don't be nasty or cruel. A good rule is to think about what you say and do before you say or do it. If you're into violent videogames, don't go talking about how cool the gory headshots look, whether you think that or not. Instead, say the graphics are cool, or something like that.
Likewise, don't pick your nose or fart in front of them. Sure, noses run and you get gas, they're totally natural, but try not to laugh and act like you just cracked a really good joke (for farting) and use a tissue (for your nose). If you burp, cover it with your hand, do it quiet as possible.
Step 3: Stay Cool
Don't be creepy
Sure, you might have a crush on this person, but that's no excuse for following them around or staring at them. Those work against you.When you see the person you're crushing on, smile at them, say hi. If they don't want to talk to you, don't make them. If they look busy, smile and maybe wave, don't engage them; that would be annoying, right? Right.
Step 4: Be Brave
You see the person you're crushing on standing alone somewhere. Your heart lurches. Should you go talk to them?
Yes! It might be nerve-wracking, but it's worth it. Just go over and say hi. Try starting a conversation, but if they're not interested, leave it alone. When their friends turn up, don't follow them, or act offended, just smile and say bye, and let them go. If your friends turn up, and they're in a hurry, say you'll catch up with them and let them go. It's a delicate balance here between not letting the crush be too lonely, and not sticking to them like glue.
HOWEVER: You can take bravery too far. Don't totally go out of your way to stay with the crush, or do things for them. That comes off a little bit creepy. For instance, if you're in a shop together and the crush hasn't got enough money to get something he/she wants, offer to help pay for it. Don't refuse being paid back though. On the other hand, don't buy them things out of the blue. Again, creepy.
Step 5: Be Funny
You don't necessarily have to be a stand-up comedian, but don't be boring either. IF you think of something funny (but not gross) don't be afraid to say it out loud. A little bit gross is ok, if the crush is friendly towards you.
The most important thing is: don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. It's a quote or proverb or something that a person who laughs at themself won't be laughed at by other people. That's not strictly true, but people laugh at you less, or at least laugh with you.
If you trip, or make a mistake, turn it into a joke. Don't act like you meant to do it, that comes off as arrogant. Say something like "I don't like hitting the floor. It's never done anything to me." If you can't think of anything appropriate, just laugh!
You see, stubbornness is a turn-off. If you're stubborn, it means a) you can't adapt to new situations and b) you have a large ego, neither of which is cool. However, don't let people take advantage of your not-stubbornness either. Just try to balance it. Find the line you don't want to cross.
Step 6: Self-Confidence
This is probably the hardest step. A good thing to remember (unless you're crushing on one of those popular kids who's had a million girlfriends/boyfriends) is that they're probably just as nervous as you are about this sort of thing. So don't make a big deal, and try not to be awkward. Just relax, and (CLICHÉ ALERT) be yourself.
Think about what you're good at. Drawing? Music? History? Even just imagining things, or video games. Think about that and hold on to it, because your crush, beautiful and amazing as they may be, is still just a human being like you.
So, no doubt you realised this but anyway:
April Fools!
That's right, this tutorial is a joke. But the contents of it aren't
This is all what I've learned from my own experiences, and I currently have a girlfriend, and it's our anniversary on Friday. I hope this helps someone 
